Tuesday, March 05, 2019

Free-to-use exercise bikes introduced at Montgomery Mall

Can't afford a gym membership? Westfield Montgomery Mall has the solution for you: Free stationary exercise bikes. The mall just set them up outside of candy shop Lolli and Pops, of all places. Gobble down handfuls of candy, then jump on a bike and burn it off. This sounds like a plan.

A sign warns patrons that you are using the bikes "at your own risk." If you give yourself a heart attack, Westfield will not be responsible. There's no indication of how use by any one individual will be regulated, so apparently you can stay on as long as you want - or as long as you can hold out.

There are mirrored partitions around the bike display with inspiring slogans for the demoralized and narcissistic alike. Take a strategically-framed selfie to taunt your friends working out at Equinox. You must be an adult to ride the bikes, by the way. This could be the perfect solution after Cinnabon opens at the mall this spring, when mall patrons' caloric intakes are sure to spike. Find your new free gym on Level 1 in the Macy's wing of the mall.


6 comments:

  1. "so apparently you can stay on as long as you want - or as long as you can hold out."

    So...how long could you hold out?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymous5:22 AM

    Still no report on the 10% drop in homicides in our County in 2018 compared to 2017?

    And down 37% compared to 2015.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anonymous5:24 AM

    I can't wait for Dyer to review Lolli and Pops candy while he simultaneously burns off the calories riding the stationary bike.

    Two-fer!

    ReplyDelete
  4. 5:22: Totally fake stat - and another homicide victim turned up in Bethesda of all places, so bad timing too. Not to mention totally off-topic, but see RockvilleNights.com for the latest on our soft-on-crime County Council today.

    ReplyDelete
  5. In your opinion.
    You always forget to say that.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Please take your crime-related comments to an appropriate article. This is about the bikes at the mall, not about crime, and you are off-topic. Off-topic comments will be deleted.

    ReplyDelete