HOSTESS PRODUCTS VANISH FROM BETHESDA SHELVES!

The demise of Hostess has sent Bethesda shoppers into a frenzy, snapping up the remaining supply of cakes, pies, and Wonder Bread from grocery shelves across town.

Hostess section at Bethesda Row
Giant Saturday night

Arlington Road Safeway

Hostess going out of business is unthinkable. A world without Twinkies and Wonder Bread?  Inconceivable. Is this a conspiracy masterminded by Michael Bloomberg?

Why wasn't Hostess too big to fail?

Ultimately, the end of Hostess was a major backfire and Pyrrhic victory for all involved.  I hope the union is satisfied; their 18,500 employees now have no jobs for Christmas.  Despicable.

As for the Food and Fun Police? They're surprising losers in this episode, too.  They said Hostess was failing, because Hostess Haters had convinced America to leave their cream-filled vices behind.  Instead, the mad run on Hostess documented in these photos proves Americans are still crazed about Ding Dongs.  The empty shelves prove the Fun Police have little public support, and should make a belated return to minding their own business.  Heckuva job, guys.

The Hostess name and brands are too beloved to stay gone for good. Fruit Pie the Magician and good old-fashioned Wonder Bread will be back on shelves before you know it.

Twinkie the Kid will ride again.